I was looking for some stuff and came across letters that I had written some time ago, but never sent (Captain Obvious here). They were written during my lowest period back in those days, and now that I read them again, I’m proud of myself for having come so far.
For a moment I had considered sending one out. Or taking a picture and texting it to the recipient. But I doubt said person wishes to get such a letter at this point in time.
So here we go. This is an open letter to that person, if you ever see this:
Dear “you suck :(”,
If you see this… (redacted) I never meant for things to turn out this way, but I think we were a huge mistake right from the start. My perceptions, my belief system, my sense of what is right / wrong, worth it / not worth it, and everything else just don’t match yours almost entirely. It was unavoidable that your actions, choices and attitude will end up tearing me apart.
I kept telling myself it was my fault for trying too hard and not letting go in time. Maybe, maybe not. You ended up being the most disappointing person I have ever loved. You may not understand why I feel that way, or find it uncalled for, but unfortunately, it is how I feel right now.
I thought without love, we could still be close friends, and you’d still care. I thought so. I hoped so.
I’m sorry for ruining everything. So much so you just stopped feeling anything for me.
I’m letting you go for good. I hope you’ll be happy. Please be happy.
Love, me.
Thank you for the few specks of time where everything made sense.
Always.
